The Secret Life of a Titan Trainer
by N.D. Stark
Summary: In which Hanji's dreams come true, Jean gets extremely depressed, Levi decides its time to wash the Titans, Annie escapes, shit goes down, the government hates everyone, the history of Erwin's eyebrows is revealed, more shit goes down, Mikasa sort-of loses her scarf, Armin cries like a chick, and the pond overflows.(Titan!Marco. Titan!Eren. Levetra, JeanxMarco, Christa/Armin/Annie)


The hour was a little over three in the afternoon. The sun was beginning to sway a bit lower than it's high peak.

Her feet swung just above the ankle deep grass as she sat on a picnic bench, her nose pointed downwards in a way that allowed it to nearly touch the slightly yellowing brittle pages of her notebook. An ink pot sat on the table next to her, a small puddle of the black substance splattered on the roughly sanded wood. A grey and brown quill was perched in her hand, scribbling furiously away before stopping every few moments. The pauses could remain for anywhere between a few seconds to a few minutes, before the scratching once again began. She absentmindedly adjusted the goggle like glasses perched on her nose, her fingers running down the strap that was pulled over her ear and tightly holding back a majority of stray hairs that fell from the high ponytail that her hair normally resided in. The leather broke into three separate strands as it reached the back of her head, ensuring that they would remain on her face if the situation got wild. For example, if her horse got frisky.

The pauses would be accompanied with her glancing up at her subject, observing every movement he made. He was a tired looking dark haired teen. His eyes were bright blue-green, and childishly wide most of the time, save for when he was angry. At the moment he was currently focused on his assignment of clearing any of the dried brown autumn leaves from the yard that was splayed out in front of a large, castle-like compound. It was spotlessly clean, the hedges neatly trimmed, the windows unnaturally reflective. The majority was due to the teen's doing, all his job when he wasn't accompanying the Corporal on practice runs and formation lineups. She spotted a cadet watching him with sympathy. This wasn't unusual for her though. In fact, it was almost normal, a day to day convenience. Her eyes drifted back onto her subject as he sighed and brushed back a small bunch of dark brown strands from his face, moving to a shadier area to continue his work.

She bent down to jot a few more notes on her subjects behavior. Her eyes once again found their way up, but this time they landed on the large window that faced the compound's yard. In the window stood the Corporal, his face as it's normal blank slate. He was so short that the window made him look minuscule. The fact that the Corporal was short was indeed true. The thirty-two year old corporal stood at an easy five foot three, while the average cadet stood at six foot two at the least. He watched her subject just as warily as she did, doing his job. The Corporal was assigned the teen, otherwise known around the campus as Yeager, as babysitter due to an incident a few months ago involving a newly broken wall and a giant rock. As well as Yeager becoming a giant-sized hunk of pure muscle and anger that managed to save the entire wall Maria.  
"Hope he's not getting too boring for you, Hanji."  
She hummed a greeting as the cadet she'd seen earlier sat down next to her.  
"Not really Armin, he's simply maintaining an interestingly steady schedule, compared to training in the cadet corps. I think that dis-organization may have enabled him to maintain control. With his attention placed on training to become a better soldier he wouldn't have been able to focus on anything else. But with the normal schedule now he's more likely to be angered. This would explain why..." Her voice softened after a few moments, before it came to a halt. "Actually, could you tell me about his childhood routines? I know you grew up with him, you two are so close. Or should I ask his adopted sister, she lived with him after all. What's her name...?"  
"Mikasa?"  
"Yes. She'd brilliant, that one. Almost as good as Levi."  
"You really think she's as good as Corporal Levi?"  
"Almost, yes."  
"I'll have to tell her."  
"You had better. I like her."

Armin turned and smiled softly at Hanji. He didn't respond, but he was quite obviously amused by the statement as his eyes followed Hanji's train of sight. Yeager was still locating any stray leaf he could find, sweeping them into a large canvas bag at the other end of the yard.  
"I wish I could become one." Hanji said softly after a few moments.  
"A Titan?"  
"Mmm-hmm." She sighed. "Wouldn't that be great? Yeager sure is lucky."  
"For a twenty-eight year old you sure do sound like a teenager." Armin replied.  
Hanji grinned. "What better way to bond with the squad, my dear!"

Armin chuckled softly, leaning forward on his knees.  
The two sat like that for a few minutes, Hanji once again glancing up every few moments to jot down notes on her subject's behavior. Armin would watch, his sight shifting between the two and occasionally to the window. But, after a while the cadet leaned back on the edge of the picnic table, putting his hands behind his head and watching silently. Hanji's usual chatter was once again quieted as she concentrated on her subject. Her goal was to possibly find out more about an average Titan's behavior, and possibly why some were so abnormal, with small or larger limbs than the others, or strange tendencies, such as jumping to get prey, running and even playing with food before eating it. She pitied those who had to go through that in their last moments, but it was all for a good cause. Humanity needed to leave the walls. Humanity needed to retake the outside world. And most of all, she had to discover where Titans came from.

"Hanji."  
Hanji jumped slightly as the Corporal's voice broke the silence.  
"Sir!" Armin jumped up immediately, his fist flying to his chest and his other arm finding it's position behind his back in a salute.  
Corporal Levi ignored the young cadet, instead turning his attention to Hanji.  
"I've considered your proposition." Levi said softly, his narrow, half-lidded eyes gazing down slightly at her position on the bench.  
Hanji's eyes light up like cannon fire, a large grin erupting on her narrow face. "And...?" She asked, her voice becoming slightly higher out of excitement.  
Levi sighed, clearly regretting his decision. "Fine. But I need to come with you... I don't trust you alone with him." His eyes went to the side slightly, gazing to the left.  
Hanji laughed slightly, causing the cadet to smile a bit. "Getting a bit protective, are we?"  
Levi's eyes widened slightly, and his words began to tumble out of his mouth, before her snapped it shut and twisted it in disgust. He snorted, stalking away.  
"Eren." Levi called, snapping his fingers for attention from the teen. Yeager's wide green eyes shot up to meet the Corporal's face, ready for orders.  
"That's enough for today, ready three horses; were heading out."  
"Okay Lev- Yes sir!" Yeager stammered, snatching up the bag and rake before heading towards the stable, located on the other side of the spacious building.

Hanji started laughing, causing Levi to roll his eyes before quickly muttering, "Dismissed, Arlert." And with that, the Corporal stalked away.  
Armin's eyes followed the Corporal as he left. As soon as he was out of earshot, his salute faltered, and he cracked a smile.  
"That _was_ a bit overprotective."

* * *

Hanji rode ahead, grinning wildly, her eyes narrowed with anticipation.  
"We're gonna stick you in the well to contain the blast form the change! And also in-case that little monster inside is feeling a bit hyper." Hanji declared, glancing back at Eren, who was riding a bit ahead of the Corporal.  
"That's sounds good!" Eren shouted in response.  
Levi remained silent, his face a blank slate, but it was Hanji's way of knowing he approved.

Within moments they arrived.

The well was dried up and unused, a mile or so away from the Scout Regiment's headquarters, in the middle of a flat expanse of prairie. Large forests of conifer and oak stood on three sides of the area, the other left open for the wall Sina to be seen far off in the distance, the fifty meter tall construct seeming mere centimeters at the far away distance. The well itself was a little over sixteen or seventeen meters deep, and five meters across, which was quite large for a well when it was built. Hanji dismounted her horse, letting it wander. She knew it would come back, they were always trained for it. She took a large rope off of it's back before it moved on to graze, hooking the large knot on the end in between two of the larger stones near the top of the well, so her subject could climb down. A few seconds later, Eren's horse stopped, and he dismounted, nearing the edge of the well. Levi remained on his horse however, his fingers twitching lightly over the triggers on the handles of his swords, ready at any moment to jump up and wield the blades.

"Last time we tried this, I nearly bit through my own hand." Eren stated softly, his eyes falling down towards the bottom of the well as he peered over the edge.  
"Well, this time, remember only Levi will kill you if you screw up, and also think of a purpose. Didn't we kink that out last time?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Well, go on then! Your goal is to help people learn more about Titans."  
"Okay."

Eren cast a glance up at Hanji, who was nodding excitedly, egging him to climb down. He let out a breath before lifting a leg over the well's edge, grabbing the rope and slowly inching down to the bottom. After a few minutes, Hanji found herself beginning to get impatient.  
"Are you there yet?" She called down.  
She heard a loud thud and a yelp.  
"You okay down there?"  
"I may or may not be in pain!" Eren shouted back up. She leaned down into the well and spotted him rubbing his legs sorely.  
"Just change already! You won't be in any pain after that, I mean you grew back an arm _and _a leg!"  
"That's great."  
"Okay, I'm gonna go to a distance, count to twenty- or something..."  
"Okay!"

Hanji squealed to herself, grinning as she jogged towards were Levi sat on his horse. She glanced at him, before starting to jump up and down, clapping her wrists together, her fists turned out like a child at Christmas.  
"It might not work." Levi stated, looking at her with annoyance.  
"Buzz kill." Hanji muttered under her breath, still grinning. "He has a purpose this time, so he knows how to activate. Stop being such a dow-"

Suddenly, a flash of yellow, orange and green erupted behind them, causing Hanji to pause. Levi glanced behind them as soon as it faded. A roar echoed over the plains.

Hanji grinned.  
"Yahooooooooooooo!" She shouted, pumping a fist in the air. She whirled around, running to the well.  
She had to see for herself. She just had to, especially if it meant such a groundbreaking discovery in a Titan's behavior. She skipped almost halfway there, before stopping at the edge, her hands landing on the heavy stones around the top. She peered down. Almost two meters below the top of the well a mop of near black hair sat. It was moving around, seemingly confused as to were it was. She whirled out her notebook, taking out a small stick of lead and jotting down the creature's behavior. She could see two sinewy shoulders rise slightly. Another deafening roar erupted from the bottom of the well.

"Shh, shh, shh, gorgeous, I'm just gonna do some studies." Hanji cooed, seemingly to herself. Her eyes flitted from the mop of hair to the brittle pages of her notes. She began to lean against the well's edge, her elbow holding her in an awkward position leaning against the edge.  
She could hear a soft, worried feral growl erupt from the creature's throat. She gazed over the edge again, seeing the great beast whirl around, the shoulders spinning like blades in a paddled mixing machine.  
"It's scared." Levi stated, growing closer on his horse.  
"Mmm-hmm."  
"It might try to get out if it stays in there for any longer."  
"Yes."  
"Wait... you want it to get out? Hanji, are you insane!?"  
"Quite possibly."  
"Hanji, I beat that kid to a bloody pulp in court to save his life. Don't expect me to risk cutting of his limbs to get him out of that thing."  
"Ten meters up, one meter across. Do it backwards, maybe two meters, and you should miss his arms and legs by a few inches."  
Levi sighed, his voice cracking slightly.

The creature growled again, those this time it sounded more like a nervous whine a dog would make.  
"Shh, shh, shh. It's okay gorgeous."  
The creature growled again, another nervous whine.  
"Ooh! A response, I should try talking to 'im!"  
"Hanji, you're insane."  
"So gorgeous, can you tell me your name?"  
The Titan whined, first a deep, than a high pitch before becoming deep again.  
"Okay, okay." She jotted down a few more notes. "So, the weather's pretty nice today."  
The creature made an annoyed sound.  
"Do you wanna get out?"  
It grumbled, before snorting, a loud puff of air erupting from it's nose.  
"Could you give it a shot?"  
It made another worried dog-like noise, before there was a long pause.

That was when a set of very large fingers appeared at the edge of the well. Hanji's eyes grew wide, and she began to step away slowly, a grin plastered to her face the whole time.  
"Hanji..." Levi warned, his face growing even more annoyed, if possible, his hands growing tight on the hilts of the swords.

There was a frustrated groan from the well as the fingers turned into a hand. The rocks began to tremble under the pressure and weight of the Titan. A small stone collapsed on the outside.  
"Crap." Levi hissed. "It's gonna break the well, and then we won't have a containment area!"  
Hanji, however, was not paying attention. "Show me your face, gorgeous!"  
The hand proceeded to turn into an arm as another hand appeared on the other side of the well. The mop of hair appeared, which was loose and oily, but still short enough for a pair of small, beady green eyes to appear. The arms proceeded to turn into shoulders.  
"Come on gorgeous! Come on! You can do it!"  
A narrow nose followed the eyes, which were now furrowed in an angry concentration. The Titan's upper jaw was visible, as if the lips had been torn away and the skin had decided to just grow around it, exposing it's teeth. The bottom jaw appeared over the top of the well, which was now falling apart. It's teeth were almost bovine, the ends set higher in the face than the center, making it seem almost demonic.  
"Look at 'im! Oooohh, he's beautiful!"  
Within seconds the great beast had fully emerged from the well. It stood at it's full height, slightly hunch-backed, staring at them. A majority of the well was now destroyed, and it's ankle was still taller than the ruins. It stood at slightly over fifteen meters tall, possibly even sixteen. It opened it's maw to reveal a large, serpentine tongue as of let out a roar of triumph. Hanji herself made a sound halfway between a laugh and a shout. Levi, however, simply sighed, his face remaining blank and resolute. Hanji took a small step forward, gaping.  
"You remember me?" She asked softly.  
The creature responded by throwing it's head back and emitting a loud chattering noise, similar to what a purring dragon might sound like.  
"Oooohhhh..." Hanji cooed, clasping her hands together at her chest and grinning."Look at you..."

"Hanji, pick up the pace, please." Levi muttered, annoyed, though his eyes were still glued to the Titan standing in front of him.  
"Can I come any closer?" Hanji asked loudly.  
The creature made another noise similar to the previous, before slumping onto the ground with a thud, it's large, well built legs twisting in a criss-cross way that school children would.  
"Haaaaaahhh!" Hanji squealed, instantly breaking into a run, stuffing her notebook into her pocket.  
"Hanji!"  
"Come on, Raviolli! Get a closer look!"  
Hanji skipped a majority of the way, grinning. She neared the beast, which was watching her keenly, it's narrow green eyes following her every movement. It seemed aware of the 3D Maneuvering Devices banging loudly against her hips and upper legs, which would allow her to shoot grappling hooks and propel herself up to the nape of the creature's neck, if the situation got dangerous. It was also keeping a sharp eye on the Corporal, who was pacing towards them on his horse, just as wary as the Titan. The beast grumbled, a hollow sound resonating through it's sinewy chest. Hanji stopped a few feet away from one of it's legs, running her hand along the muscle.  
"Oh, you lucky boy, you can run. Most other Titans can't run."  
Levi sighed and the Titan purred.

"Can I see your face a bit more? Pleeeaaase?" Hanji pleaded, glancing up at the creature the lenses of her goggles obscuring her wide, excited eyes.  
The Titan let out another groan, rumbling deep in it's throat. Then, slowly, it raised it's arms and began to enclose the scientist in it's large, nimble fingers.

"Hanji!" Levi exclaimed, spurring the horse into a gallop. He stopped eruptly as Hanji let out yet another excited shout.  
"Yahoooo!"  
The Titan took away one of it's hands to reveal Hanji standing, bent over and trying to maintain balance, in the palm of the other.  
"Levi, you need to try this out! This is amazing!"  
"Not a chance!" Levi replied, narrowing his eyes at the beast. "You'd better not eat her, Yeager."

Hanji was within reach of the Titan's great nose a few moment's later, it's hand positioning itself awkwardly so she could stand on the palm. She paced forward, watching it's large, almost glowing, emerald eyes track her movement across it's palm. She gently drew a line across it's nose with the tips of her fingers, causing the creature to shudder slightly, blinking. She then placed her hands on it's nose, placing her forehead on it.  
"I should probably call you Eren." She said softly.  
The creature didn't respond, simply purring.  
"You're lucky." Hanji said, before grinning, and stepping back. "You can put your hand down now! I'ma jump on your face!"  
The creature made an annoyed sound before slowly starting to take it's palm away. Hanji ran, and jump, snatching a fistful of hair hanging in front of it's nose. The creature shuddered again, put remained resolute. She struggled to keep her grip, her legs flinging wildly about, causing her to gently swing back and forth on the lock of dark brown hair. She placed a foot on it's nose, the other leg swinging into nothingness.  
"Look at you, gorgeous."

The creature made another dog-like whine, nearly going cross-eyes from trying to look at her.  
"Sorry, sorry." She muttered, beginning to climb up the strands of hair. "This probably hurts."  
"The creature whined again.

Hanji kept climbing up though, until she made it to the top of the great beast's head.  
"Levi! You _need _to see this!" Hanji shouted down, her voice faint from the distance.  
"Hanji! Get down here!"  
"Come on, Raviolli!"  
"Hanji Zoe, as a higher up in the Scout Regiment, I order you to get down, _now_!"  
"Nope!"  
"Hanji!"  
"Yahooo!"


End file.
